Some people live their whole lives seeking a soulmate. Marriage is a spring of joy if you're joined to the right person. But marriage to the wrong person can lead to unbearable heartache. Marriage is more permanent than super glue. The only knife that cuts the cord in God's eyes is adultery (Matthew 5:32; 19:9, c.f. 1 Corinthians 7:15 for other legitimate grounds). No one should jump into a pool during winter, travel on a low tank of gas, or rush into matrimony without serious thought.
Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers." Chaff is not recognizable in its early stages and neither is a person's spiritual condition. You can't know if a person is really a Christian after a few outings anymore than you can distinguish a blob at midnight. Don't let anyone, not even your mom, friend, or fiancé, hurry you into a relationship that will affect the rest of your life. Take the time you need. If he won't wait then he apparently needs to learn patience. Would you buy a house with termite problems? Then don't marry a guy with soul problems.
Emotions are as unpredictable as nitroglycerin. How often have we done something in the heat of the moment and regretted it later! Sometimes we need to tune out our heart and listen to our head for a few minutes. Love is a fog that blinds the eyes to road signs and can make you crash into a ditch if you're not careful. Listen to your family's impression of your boyfriend, even if you don't like what they have to say on the issue. They have those concerns for a reason and maybe you should hear why (Proverbs 1:8-9). It is usually easier for others to spot his faults than yourself. Granted, they might be overreacting, but wouldn't you if your child was holding a stick of dynamite?
No yard is without weeds and even the best books have at least one typo. No one is perfect; if you are waiting until the perfect man comes you'd better have an ocean of patience, because the perfect man will never come. You have your little quirks and so does he. You sin and so will he. Christ is the soil that causes two plants to grow together. That's why you must be as certain as humanly possible about your fiancé's heart. "Two people who love Christ can also love each other, no matter what their differences" (John MacArthur et al., Right Thing in a World Gone Wrong: A Biblical Response to Today's Most Controversial Issues, page 32). If Christ isn't there, what will hold you together?
The wrong spouse will cause you more pain than being single ever did. I guarantee it will create mental strain, and perhaps even physical hurt if your husband is abusive. But the greatest danger is the temptation to sin. If you live with a skunk, don't be surprised if you start smelling like one. The spouse wields a larger influence in a person's life than friends and family (and you know how easy it is to succumb to their pleas). Solomon is a prime example. He was the wisest man on earth. But even his wisdom could not keep him from falling into his wives' sins (1 Kings 11:1-8). The Israelites married into idolatrous nations and that plummeted them into wickedness (Judges 3:5-6). Blessings can flow from strained marriages (1 Corinthians 7:14), resulting in the salvation of your spouse. But you do not know what's going to happen (v. 16), and why risk your relationship with God to marry a man?
I think it is better not to sit and wait for your prince because "people who make marriage their goal often wind up marrying the wrong person" (John MacArthur, Divine Design, page 110). Wait for him without waiting. Go about your work and keep busy. Sitting in a chair won't make him come any faster. If he comes, hurray! But if not, don't wait up for him. Take each day as it comes. Don't prepare a banquet when you don't know if anyone's attending.
Singleness is no shame, rather it is a highly exalted position. Even though marriage is a high calling, it's not all butterflies and daisies. Singleness is not a barrier to happiness. A Christian can be joyful anywhere, whether they are rich, poor, slave, or free. We have the keys to eternal life and that is a million times better than "true love"! Marriage may be heavenly, but it will not exist in heaven (Matthew 22:30). Marriage will fade away when the last trumpet sounds like other earthly institutions. All Christians shall be single in the end. Remember, "if you are not first satisfied in God alone, you will never find lasting happiness with anyone else" (John MacArthur et al., Right Thing in a World Gone Wrong: A Biblical Response to Today's Most Controversial Issues, page 37). You don't have to marry a prince to be a princess.
Mariposa is a self-taught artist who captures the glories of God's creation on canvas. She has a Ph.D. in creativity and a masters degree in imagination.
Aberdeen is a book-eating, ink-drinking dinosaur from the createtus period. When he isn't falling into plot holes or taking cover from the volcano of ideas, he's hanging out with Dee-Dee the doodledactyl. Read full bio